warm, like a fire (or a really tight hug) warm, like a fire (or a really tight hug)Winter sucks. It always took Ranmaru hours to find the courage to brave the freezing house with a heater that only worked half of the time. Some days, he’d be so hungry he could feel his stomach panging, but he hated dealing with cramps because he wasn't warm enough.
Bzzt bzzt.
He groans. Who on Earth is texting him?
(On a cold morning, Ranmaru wakes up to his phone incessantly going off—and his two partners waiting for him to open the door.)
YTTD; Kageyama Ranmaru, Chidouin Sara, Tazuna Jou; No Death Game; Gift for Melon_Mastermind.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Merry Christmas, Vannah! This is a little late, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless. Writing from Ranmaru's point of view was a little bit of a challenge (not for any particular reason, I just don't write from his perspective that often), but it was a welcome one!! I had a lot of fun messing around in a scenario where he gets to be happy with Joe and Sara, so thank you for asking for them this year!!
Additionally, thank you for being such a kind person. You're so wonderfully understanding when things get rough. Not just that, but you're overall a very fun person to talk to—I adore how passionate you are about your interests and creations, and even when you get embarrassed about it sometimes, I enjoy hearing about them nonetheless. You're also very funny, and our conversations never fail to make me happy. Thanks for another amazing year! Take care of yourself, Vee!
Bzzt.
His phone buzzes yet again. Though he aches to check it, just to see who was blowing up his phone, his bones beg him to stay under the warmth of the comforter, where it was just a little less colder than it was outside of it.
Winter sucks. It always took Ranmaru hours to find the courage to brave the freezing house with a heater that only worked half of the time. Some days, he’d be so hungry he could feel his stomach panging, but he hated dealing with cramps because he wasn't warm enough.
Bzzt bzzt.
He groans. Who on Earth is texting him? Whoever it is, they seem insistent, like his response is the most important thing in the world, and not him needing to be able to get out of bed and eat—and maybe fuss with the heater while he’s at it.
Ignoring the shivering of his arms, he pulls down the sleeve of a green hoodie that he knows doesn't belong to him—but it’s warm and cozy, and the owner of it told him he could keep it for a little while. Ranmaru was unable to turn him down at the time, and right now, he's grateful Joe is so stubborn.
He snatches his phone off the bedside table, yanking it off the charging cord and allowing it to land somewhere on the floor. He’ll pick that up later.
After securing the comforter again, curling in on himself to keep some heat, he turns on the phone. He hardly flinches when it flashbangs him, the bright screen being nothing more than a nuisance he’s grown used to. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, and it isn't until after he rubs his eyes a little that he can finally make out the single notification among several missed calls.
maru please open the door sara and i are dying out here
Warmth flows through his cheeks. He almost forgets he was ever cold in the first place. Almost.
As fast as he can, which truly isn't fast at all, Ranmaru taps the notification and unlocks his phone. The screen loads, and soon enough, he responds: how long have you guys been outside?
To which, Joe swiftly texts back, hours. years. let us in
There's a beat between messages. Sara pops into conversation, likely having to intervene from her own phone. It's only been a few minutes. Have you just woken up?
Ranmaru briefly considers telling a lie, though it's futile anyway—one look at his messy hair would give him away instantly. yes. i'll be downstairs in a minute.
Really, it'd probably be another five minutes, but they probably already knew that. It was already faster than he wanted it to be, but the thought of leaving his partners outside? Inconceivable. He’d rather he freeze to death.
Ranmaru is met with a very warm hug from his boyfriend.
Joe wraps his arms around him, nearly falling on the way inside. Sara scoots around the two, waiting for Ranmaru to process the first action before swiftly leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek.
“Good morning, lamb,” she greets, pressing her forehead against his with a smile. To nobody's surprise, he grows embarrassed, resisting the urge to bury his face into his hands. “Did you sleep okay? Eat breakfast?”
Joe lifts himself off him, patting the top of his head and fluffing up his hair as much as he can. “Saraaa, he just woke up! Not everyone wakes up completely prepared for the day, y'know.”
“I slept fine…” Ranmaru worms his way out of Joe's embrace, running a hand through his hair, now more of a mess than it had been a bit ago. “Haven’t eaten yet. Did you guys want anything…? I-I can make something real quick.”
It’d probably be something like… peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Separate, of course—Sara hates peanut butter. Joe hates jam. Ranmaru didn’t really sway one way or another, so he usually had the leftovers.
“I ate already,” Sara says, before lightly swatting Joe’s shoulder. “I know this one didn't, though. He met me at the front door with a toothbrush in his mouth.”
“Ow! Hey!” Joe looks at her with sad eyes, ones Ranmaru has only ever associated with that of a kicked puppy. “I overslept, okay? At least I didn’t leave you out in the cold!”
“It’s fine,” Ranmaru intervenes. Much as his partners enjoyed bickering, he wasn’t sure if his minor headache was willing to put up with two people yelling much longer. “I’ll make you guys some food. Maybe you can find something to watch?”
Sara hums. “Alright. I’ll come help, actually… Joe, we can trust you, right?”
Joe’s lips part, forming that ‘o’ shape he’s grown particularly fond of over time. He scoffs, crossing his arms—“Of course I can! I'm not a dog!”
“Uh huh. Sure, puppy,” she reaches up, ruffling Joe’s hair from behind, already messy from a poor hairspray job he’d probably done in a rush. Still, he playfully acts offended, even when the warmth spreading across his cheeks gives him away.
“Whatever!” Joe pushes Sara's arm away, looking over at Ranmaru as if that would keep him from looking so flustered. “Anything you wanna watch in particular? I'm only taking suggestions from you.”
“Um… I don't know,” he shrugs, “Maybe a movie? But I don’t really know what’s new. I mean, there's this movie adaptation for a book that came out recently. I heard it’s bad.”
“Nothing new,” Sara thoughtfully adds with a hum. “I say we watch it. The book was okay at best. I cannot wait to see what they did.”
Joe throws a side glance at her, keeping to whatever bit this was. “What do you say, ‘maru?”
“Sounds good to me.” He says with a nod, beckoning Sara with a hand motion to the kitchen. “Come on.”
Sara pokes her head into Ranmaru’s fridge. He doesn't store his bread or the peanut butter in there, and the jam was already out on the counter, leaving him to question what she was looking for.
“Do you want to eat something else?” he asks, placing the butter knife back on the plate. “I haven't gone shopping yet, but there's some food left.”
“The sandwiches are fine! Don't worry,” she assures, reaching into the back. He watches her pull out a half empty bottle of water, one he must have thrown in there haphazardly the other day.
She points the bottle to him, shutting the refrigerator door with her foot. “Have you taken your medication yet?”
Ah… she's reminding him. He had alarms, but he still forgot sometimes. Though he wasn't particularly a fan of being the subject of Sara’s worries, her stubbornness has ensured he never missed a day.
“Not yet… I was going to wait until after I ate,” Ranmaru answers, “But I didn't drink water this morning, so…”
He extends his hands out, and she tosses the bottle over the refrigerator door. The cold plastic lands in the palms of his hands, and even if he's already freezing, he makes sure to drink at least a little.
From the corner of his eye, he can see Sara watching, just to confirm. He grows slightly embarrassed; she doesn't need to do that.
“Sara?”
“Yeah?”
“You're staring.” He places the bottle on the kitchen counter. “I’m fine, I promise. You don't have to worry every second.”
Ranmaru has had difficulty speaking up about things in the past. Hell, he still finds himself scrambling for even the smallest crumb of confidence. It’s gotten easier, though—Joe and Sara were always asking if he needed them to tone it down a little, and eventually, it wasn't as scary to be honest with them anymore. Which was good, considering how both of them had a tendency to get too carried away and not pick up on the small hints.
So, of course, Sara shakes her head, “Oh, stars, I’m sorry. I was zoning out. Are you okay?”
“I said you were staring… N-Not that you were hurting me.” He offers an awkward grin, though he doesn't hold eye contact for long. He opts to focus on preparing the sandwiches again. “I also said I was fine already.”
“Right. I’m glad.”
Sara steps next to him, momentarily pausing to figure out what to do to help. Now that he thinks about it, making some sandwiches isn’t necessarily a two-person job. Regardless, he’s happy to have her next to him, even if there isn't a lot she can do for him right now. He can feel warmth radiating off her.
Just as Ranmaru pops open the jar of peanut butter, Sara latches onto the bottle of jam, twisting the cap with ease without so much as a frustrated groan or hint of a struggle. He watches in awe, even though it wasn't really all that impressive.
“Did I ever tell you I used to raid my kitchen for these jars when I was younger?” She places the open bottle on the counter between her and Ranmaru.
“It sounds like you,” he replies, “What, did you climb on chairs and tables to get on the counter?”
Sara snorts. She's gotten less embarrassed by her own laugh these past few years, which warms Ranmaru’s heart. He always thought that the sudden reaction he could pull from her was cute. “Yeah, actually. If I couldn't get my hands on a chair, I borrowed my mom’s cane while she was sleeping. That's how I shattered glass for the first time.”
“Jeez… Is it bad I can imagine that happening clearly?” Ranmaru smiles, finally dipping the butter knife into the peanut butter jar. “You were probably all like, oh no, woe is me, all of the jam is on the floor, boohoo… or, um, something like that.”
He can see Sara trying not to crack up as she prepares a jelly sandwich beside him. “Do you really think I said ‘woe is me’ when I was four? I couldn't even speak full sentences at the time.”
“Who knows. It seems like something four year old Sara would do. You and Joe can be so dramatic sometimes.”
She scoffs. “As if you’re incapable of theatrics yourself. Come on, you were in a drama club too, weren't you?”
“I did stage crew. I don't really need to be a good actor for that.”
“So, what?” Sara pouts in disbelief. “You did a year working with stage production, and not one bit of it influenced you? Really?”
“Basically? I don't know why this is so surprising.”
“Because I don't believe you.” Her eyes narrow. She wipes the remaining jam on the knife with the corner of the bread, and then she pokes his shoulder with the tip of it. “Pretend I just stabbed you. Try to be dramatic about it.”
Ranmaru’s eyebrows knit together in his moment of confusion. It takes him a second to even process the action, which probably doesn't bode well for an actor. Still, for Sara, he places a hand to his forehead, “Oh, no. Blood everywhere. How could you do this to me. Uh… Betrayal?”
Sara looks astonished. “Ah. Remind me to trust you next time.”
He can’t help but chuckle as he drops his hand, unsurprised that he proved his own point. “I’ll leave the acting to you guys. The spotlight will stay on you too, so long as I have something to say about it.”
“How cheesy.”
Despite it, she smiles, her teeth showing without her even realizing. He can’t fight the curl of his own lips, even though he’s embarrassed.
“Realistically speaking, though,” Sara continues, resuming her sandwich making. “I don’t think I could see any of us doing acting professionally. The industry is so brutal.”
Ranmaru nods. “Oh, for sure. One of the families I stayed with when I was younger had a foot in the acting scene, and it was so bad. I’m kind of glad I ended up running from that one.”
There’s a small pause before she responds again.
“How old were you when that one happened?”
“Like, twelve maybe? Hard to say.”
Then, another pause. For a moment, he finds himself nervous. This was usually that kind of silence that would draw on until Sara figured out how to word a question or a comment that would dwell on the topic for longer than necessary. It wasn’t like she did it on purpose, because he knows it’s just her worrying, but Ranmaru always tried to view his childhood in a neutral light of sorts.
Sara must have taken notice of how tense he became. He watches her shoulders relax as she shakes her head.
“I get it,” she says after a small hum. “I wouldn’t step a foot in that direction if it killed me. Acting always feels more authentic in local groups, anyway.”
She doesn’t even look up when she directs the conversation off of him. She just does it naturally, without drawing that much attention to it. He appreciates it.
“That makes sense. Less pressure and all that. It’s probably easier to feel comfortable making mistakes and the like, right?”
“Yeah!” Sara beams. “Aw, you’re making me miss my junior high’s drama program. I’m so sad Sonobeno never got one.”
Ranmaru’s high school didn’t have a drama program, either—at least, not anything official. There was a group of students who did things outside of school, but he only knows that because he helped out during one of their tech rehearsals last minute. He kind of misses being able to watch the rehearsals and the live performances from backstage.
“I’m pretty sure there’s some community theater program nearby, if you’re looking for one?”
She shrugs. “I’ll think about it. Thank you, Ranmaru.”
As usual, her smile is warm. It shoots a fire through his chest, bringing forth the same old feeling he’s cherished for so long. It paralyzes him, so much so that he can only nod his head and utter a hum instead of a “you’re welcome”.
For the most part, the two make the rest of the sandwiches in silence. Not much else had to be said, anyway.
“This… should probably be enough,” Ranmaru remarks, just as Sara puts together her last PB&J. “Don’t wanna make too many.”
“Mhm. If you want more, you can have some of mine!” she offers, wiping her hands of excess jam. “I’m not super hungry, anyway.”
“I’ll be fine. Thanks, though.” He picks up the plate of sandwiches. “Do you mind putting all this away? I’m gonna make sure Joe gets something to eat.”
She nods, “Yeah! I still remember where everything goes, so I’ve got it. Make sure you start eating too, okay?”
“Wouldn’t forget.” Ranmaru leans in, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. “Don’t take too long. We might start the movie without you,” he jokes.
Sara smiles, tilting his chin upward slightly with her pointer finger. “You wouldn’t.”
She’s right. They wouldn’t.
“I’ll see what Joe thinks. He’s only taking suggestions from me, since you teased him.”
“Uh huh.” She taps his nose, stepping away to clean up.
Ranmaru shakes his head, a small chuckle escaping him as he leaves the kitchen.
The movie, as he had assumed, isn’t great. For what it's worth, had Sara not talked about the book’s plot in length prior to the movie, he'd at least be able to appreciate the rather unpredictable plot—but maybe that wasn’t really a plus. The foreshadowing sucked ass.
At first, the whole thing was at least a little funny. Joe and Sara were certainly getting a kick out of mocking the main character and his love interest. Even he finds himself making light of how the characters receive no consequences for their actions. It's really stupid.
But eventually, their laughter dies down as the plot escalates. Not that the movie was getting any better—it seriously wasn’t. In fact, the plot only got way more confusing here.
About two minutes into the big realization of the protagonist, Joe pipes up—“Hold on, hold on! What’s happenin’ again?”
Ranmaru realizes his eyebrows have been furrowed for way too long. He shakes his head. “I have no idea. Something about the main one—whatever his name was—having apparently screwed his brother over? Even though he's never met him?”
“That's his brother?” Joe dramatically gestures at the screen. “When was that revealed?”
“I don't even think it was. I only know that because Sara told me about the badly written scene in the– Sara?”
It’s only then Ranmaru realizes their girlfriend hasn't said a word in a little bit. Of course, he hadn't questioned it, because he knows how she is with zoning out sometimes, but…
The previous conversation disperses entirely as the two direct their attention to Ranmaru’s left.
“Is she asleep?” Joe asks. He lifts his head off of Ranmaru and leans forward to get a good look at her. She hasn’t broken into a snore yet, so Ranmaru knows not to move too much. She’s mostly a light sleeper.
“Yeah,” he answers in a hushed voice. He tilts his head towards the remote control on the armrest. Like clockwork, Joe turns down the volume on the movie and the next line with awful delivery.
It's a little quieter now. Joe places the remote to his side. “She’s so cute when she’s asleep,” he comments.
“Is she not cute all the time?” Ranmaru raises an eyebrow, latching onto the opportunity to mess with him while he can. “She’d be pretty sad to hear that.”
Joe gasps, remaining way too loud. “What!? That’s not what I meant!”
Ranmaru forces himself to swallow his laugh, but he can still feel himself smiling. It must be infectious. Joe’s expression turns into a grin, all of a sudden.
“...Mean to me,” Joe says, pouting. He sets his chin on Ranmaru’s shoulder, having to lean down to do so comfortably.
“Sorry,” he apologizes, definitely not meaning it. “Would you ever forgive me?”
“Would I?” A thoughtful hum sounds from the brunette. “I’ll have to think about it.”
And so he does. Joe briefly pauses, having to come up with some kind of silly quip in return.
“I dunno… Maybe if you kissed me.”
There’s a tone in his voice that indicates he’s joking, and Ranmaru knows it, but he plays along for the sake of this. “Move closer, then. I’m not gonna be the one to wake Sara.”
He watches Joe’s eyes widen, completely seizing his fidgeting. For a moment, Ranmaru considers teasing him for such a reaction—not even he was that bad with these silly comments anymore—but he refrains, if only to grant mercy on his poor boyfriend.
So, he waits patiently. Eventually, Joe blinks a few times and clears his throat, disguising the fact that he had gotten flustered at all.
“Fine!”
He sits up, leaning in towards Ranmaru’s face—but he doesn't bridge the gap completely. From there, he just holds, waiting for the action to be reciprocated. For a moment, Ranmaru is overcome with the burden of his own awkwardness. It wasn't like he hadn't done this before, but there was something about it that always made his heart race.
He likes this feeling.
He gathers his courage and pecks Joe’s cheek, using his free hand to tilt his head to the side. A whiff of his hairspray fills his nose, mixed with the scent of cologne and peanut butter from what he just ate. Maybe they're not the most appealing things to smell, but it's a combination of what Ranmaru has begun associating with Joe, and it was more comforting than he realized.
It's not until another moment passes that he notices Joe hasn't pulled away yet. He raises an eyebrow, a curious inquiry without having to say anything at all.
“That's all I get?” Joe teases, pouting once more. Despite it, Ranmaru can spot a smile threatening to form. “Just on the cheek?”
“Oh. Be more specific next time.”
Obliging with Joe’s request yet again, Ranmaru pulls his face towards his own, meeting his lips with a small smile. It's rather quick, because the action immediately drains the rest of his confidence, but it succeeds in making the other look all dorky and very happy.
Joe attempts to bury his initial reaction into his shoulder, slouching down once again. “...Apology accepted.”
“You would have forgiven me, even if I didn't kiss you.” Ranmaru runs his hand through the auburn hair, not minding the slightly greasy texture of it. “You can't stay mad at me.”
“Yeah, duh. ‘Cause I love ya.”
“I love you too. Now be quiet—I don't wanna wake up Sara.”
Another snicker sounds from Joe, though its only muffled because he has his face pressed into his shoulder. Once he gets his giggles out, he relaxes against him, turning his head to look at the television again.
Ranmaru hasn’t been paying attention to the movie, of course. By the time he gets his attention settled on it again, his mind is still racing to try and catch up—and of course, with the inconsistent pacing of the film, he can’t even grasp an understanding of the current scene.
“...Do you know what’s going on?” he asks, voice no louder than a whisper.
Joe shrugs. “Not really. I don’t even know who that guy is. ”
Ranmaru bites his cheek, seizing a laugh threatening to spill from his throat. “Oh well. The costumes are nice, at least.”
“Really? I thought they looked terrible.” He can hear the disgust in Joe’s voice, like he had been holding back from commenting on it until now. “The side characters look better than the main ones. I guess the goal was to get the main cast to stand out more, but it’s executed really badly. I mean, seriously, none of those colors go together.”
The fact he of all people is saying this, when he went to the high school with so many clashing colors for a uniform, says a lot about how bad the costume design is here. Ranmaru only finds himself nodding, even though he doesn’t fully understand. He did set design and lights back in his drama program, and he never stepped a foot anywhere near the costume department—it’s easier to get a scene to look good than it is to coordinate every part of an outfit.
“I think I see it, yeah… Now that you mention it, I can’t unsee it. It’s awful.”
“See? I told ya.” Joe shakes his head, turning away from the movie to look at him. “Anyway, are ya still cold? Do you want me to go get a blanket for us?”
The idea of him leaving, even for a little bit, doesn’t sound very appealing. “I’m fine. You’re warm enough.”
“Aww.” Joe wraps an arm around him, allowing himself to scoot closer. “Get cozy, then. I think I might fall back asleep. How much rest did you get last night?”
“Could easily use another hour,” Ranmaru says, shutting one eye. “How about you?”
“Decent amount, but I’m willing to go for extra. I’ll keep the movie playing?”
“Yeah. Background noise.”
Really, he knows it'll take him a little longer to fall asleep without the silence, but it was a fair trade if it meant Joe wouldn't move from his spot.
“Alright, then,” Joe smiles, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Give one to Sara for me. I don't wanna move.”
Ranmaru chuckles at the silly statement, despite thinking the same thing. He turns his head, getting a good look at the sleeping Sara on his shoulder once more, her soft snoring finally registering in his ears. She looks so peaceful. He hopes she's comfortable, too.
Carefully, he leans in slightly, kissing the top of her head. Her hair smells like strawberry and cinnamon, which he knows are comforting scents for her.
“Goodnight, Sara,” he mumbles, even though she won't hear him.
Joe chuckles. “It’s eleven in the morning.”
“Same thing. Goodnight to you, too.”
“Night, lamb.”
Ranmaru doesn't close his eyes just yet. Joe shifts around a little before finally finding his spot, and then it only takes him a few minutes for his breathing to completely settle.
He takes this moment to take in the surrounding noise. The television was still going, but that wasn't what Ranmaru was paying attention to—he was listening to his partners sleep at his sides, taking comfort against him and providing heat for him on this cold morning. Once he did close his eyes, he could more easily shift his focus on either Sara’s snoring or Joe’s breathing, but he preferred listening to both at once. It was a comforting reminder they were both there.
It was… warm.
Published December 26, 2023. (Archived December 28, 2023.)